Bread Winner

Are you and your spouse competitive?

Like, with each other?

I know I have some friends who don’t really care at all, but then I’ve talked with some that enjoy being the one bringing in more than their spouse.

I don’t consider myself competitive really.

My husband? Yeah.

He’s like a machine. Constantly trying to do better, be better, grow, and learn more.

Me? I find myself going backwards. Wanting away from that as I get older.

When we first started dating, and in the beginning of our marriage, I was the one always carrying us… financially.

The direct marketing thing I joined, took off and blew our minds.

When my day job is good, it’s really good.

When it’s bad, it’s really bad.

That’s sales.

You have to grow tough skin to make it in this business.

At one point I was doing so well, that we decided he should chase a dream. Entrepreneurship.

And he did.

And he’s crushing it.

A lot of businesses fail in the first few years.

Not his. The opposite.

Proud, is an understatement.

But the combination of the two, his success and the hard times with my jobs, has been…. interesting.

I don’t know if any of you have ever experienced what I’m about to try to explain, but I’m hoping you can relate.

Maybe you decided to change careers.

Went out on a limb and started your own business.

Maybe you always wanted to be a stay at home mom.

Or maybe, your wife makes more money so you’re the default parent home with the kids.

That feeling of having to ask permission for time alone, to go out by yourself.

To spend money, when you’re not the one bringing it in.

Subordinate.

Inferior.

Just like everything, it’s all mindset.

You can stay there.

But something I’ve experienced that I want to share with my readers is that in a marriage, a partnership, this feeling shifts.

As you go on your journey together, at some point, one will be the bread winner and the other will not.

Then at another time, this will shift.

Back and forth.

This is what marriage is about, sharing responsibility but also sharing the weight of obligation. In doing so this allows both of you to move forward, to level up.

To grow.

Just like when you have your first baby, and you take shifts feeding the baby in the middle of the night.

Or take turns with the loading the dishwasher…

why is life a constant cycle of unloading and loading the dishwasher? Seriously. Why are there always so many dishes?

So go on and accept it now.

Love means letting the one you love stand in the spotlight.

Let them chase their dreams.

Make sacrifices.

A little piece of advice though…

Choose someone who will do the same for you.

Ps. All the images in this post came from my husband’s sourdough tutorial video… Check it out!